The growing popularity of Buddha
impelled the king called Machendra to meet Lord Buddha. Since the king has imprisoned
his own father, he thought Buddha would not receive him. Nevertheless he wanted
to try. When the king showed up, Lord Buddha was preaching in- group.
"You are welcome, the great
king", said the Lord Buddha. The
king thought that the welcome was not for him, but for another king. Looked
around, he found no king other than himself. When the Buddha welcomed him
twice, he was convinced. Being astonished, he developed faith and offered
prostration. He then listened Dharma from Lord Buddha. Later he has attained
Arhat – liberation from Samsara.
Lord Buddha's wisdom knows that no one,
even dogs, likes blaming and scolding. He then applies the method, that is, to welcome
the king. And his wisdom even knew that the king was suitable for the
teachings. So he listened Dharma. When the suitable time comes across, he gives
teachings.
When dealing with people, Lord
Buddha applies wisdom and method. So we can use to better our human
relationship.
For example, a friend did a wrong, and he is under stress
and fear. Desperate for a solution, he came to seek your help. "Why did you do that," you
lashed out, "and why you came here?"
Upon hearing this, there is no slight
doubt that Friend was disappointed and enraged. Instead, if you welcome and
console him, he will be relieved: It is like cool water being poured on hot.
When he calms down, you can tell him what he did is wrong, and what to do next.
In this way you can direct him to the right path.
When a child smoke, our normal words are: “Don’t smoke! it
is injurious to your health.” But our usual worrisome words have no strength to
touch his mind. So it doesn’t work. It is also possible that he smokes intentionally
probably because he is tire of your often lashing.
In this beautiful world, no one, it
seems, is ready to accept
ones fault easily. In this case we
must deal with wisdom and method.
With wisdom and method, we will score
higher in terms of public relationship. Of course people flock around us like
bees gathering around honey.
We can apply wisdom and method to
altar the unruly behavior or habit of others. Directly pointing would hurt
their feeling, and also intensify theirs.
When wife shout, husband must keep
quite. If you both shout, then there is no way for calmness; it might damage
your relationship. When one speaks, other listen, whereas other speak, one
listen. It is not only a part of our living, but also that it is how we lead
life together and further.
And we can use the wisdom and method
in our family, or in our office. With wisdom, we must know what your wife and
children want and think. Then you use the method to fulfill their want and
thought. It is not necessary to spend lot of money to fulfill ones wish and
thought. A sincer word can satisfy. This is one of the methods.
It might be hard for us to use
wisdom and method on regular basis. All we need is patience and practice. If we
really want benefit and credit, we have to do so.
If a woman show up in your office,
shouting and complaining, what are you going to do?
First of all, tell her, please have
a seat. Let her talk. Listen to her with smile and patience. (we like to talk,
but not to listen, which is our weakness.) If she says something unpleasant, do
not react but be patient. You must know she is under emotion and in this case she
would scold. After a while, you can ask her, “Do you like a cup of water or
tea?” This distract her intense. Also, to calm her down you need to share
feeling and solidarity. This is what she really needs. And you can try to
change her topic skillfully. When she calm down, it is your time to express and
deal.
You may think why you ought to
listen to her, since you are right, or you are superior to her. This is the
destructive thought, which you should thwart immediately. Every human depends
on each other. They would be helpful and useful for you in future. You might
seek their help. The rich turn into poor, and the poor turn into the rich. So
it is not good idea to bully and belittle poor and ordinary folk. Therefore,
with the influence of wisdom and method, we will definitely have happy family,
happy marriage, healthy friendship, and reputation. So let's make habit of
applying wisdom and method in your daily life!
