How to develop Patience

The patience is a mind which is not disturbed by harm doer and suffering. In other words, patience is a mind that is able to bear any kind of sufferings and harm. With patience we can accept any pain inflicted upon us. And the patience of not retaliating and the patience of enduring suffering are very important in our daily life.

If you are not anger when someone call you a liar or brainless, it is a sign that you have patience. And patience is the opponent to anger. Without patience we remain vulnerable to anger, anxiety, frustration and so forth.

In Bodhisattva’s Way of Life,

Obstinate beings are as vast as sky,

All of them can’t be controlled.

If you control your mind of anger,

It is like controlling all of them.

Thus, we require patience to crush our anger. We know how difficult for us to develop patience immediately, for anger is easily triggered by slight unbalance. But more we acquaint with patience, quicker the patience comes...

Most of our anger has slightest reasons. Through the roughly analysis, we would come to conclusion that trivial things stir anger. So it is better to develop patience for our own interest.

As a result of having no patience, we are not able to endure the disturbing words and acts. Not only that, we think of retaliation. If we retaliate to someone, how long can we retaliate? If we take revenge to someone, he would response because his pride and anger would not let him remain as spectator. Although we could not retaliate at the moment, we grasp antipathy and hunt for an appropriate opportunity. It goes on until we are exhausted, or withdraw. So a great master said that if a ball drops, it would bounce up. Remember, the revenge gives us only loss and suffering. So must be patience. Otherwise, if we think carefully in detail what happened in the past, it seems that we have to devote our whole life to retaliation.

By and large, we cause stir anger in people, because we do not let people stay where they are. We often act like monkey. Let's check what we say and what we do, instead of checking others. I think it is effective and helpful.

We better to accept lose above larger benefit. The wise radiates patience. Those who have patience easily deal with diversity of culture, religion, and ethnics, especially human problems.

On other hand, when a doctor is attacked by madman, the doctor would not counter attacks him, because he know the man is mad, and would try to heal his madness. Like a madman, the person, who shows anger, has no freedom over anger. He could not control his anger. The anger takes over us. So we often feel regret, wishing that we would not have shown anger. It indicates that we have no control over our anger. It is not us, but our anger which make others angry. Thinking in this way, stop the reaction of anger to the person; and act patience to his words and acts. It is good excuse not to start the engine of your anger.

Once a student was beating a thief, and his teacher intervened but in vain. The teacher pointed his finger at student's nose, saying Patience, Patience. The student then remembered to develop patience. After all he has already busted into anger, and it doesn’t work to be patience then. When anger is about to occur in mind, take a long breath and say to yourself: I must stop it.

There was a hermit meditating on patience in a cave. A man accidentally broke a water pot set up outside his cave. While in meditation, the hermit heard the broken sound of the pot. He came out and angrily shouted, "How dare you broke my pot?" The man replied I wanted to test your patience. He ran away.

Sometimes it is more helpful to practice patience with persons than merely meditating on it. We have a saying that if there’s no one to provoke anger, to whom one does practices patience?

When a drunken man speaks something bad, we would say, "forget him, he is drunk; and he is not under control." Likewise, when someone gets angry, we must forget him because he is not under control. The anger controls him.

If we lack of patience it is not only difficult to remain in cheerful, but also to maintain peaceful relationship with our family, friends and associates. Without patience, we will have no calm mind. Patience is very beautiful. It is a precious thing which you cannot buy in the market, although you are a millionaire. No pain, no gain. If we have patience, we can endure any pain, beside anger.